The future is just ahead. (Image source.)
News reports of the past week raise a huge red flag for e-cigarette users. Five deaths and 450 cases of severe lung illness linked to e-cigarette use are now documented. David Christiani of Harvard’s School of Public Health describes this development as an epidemic, with the number of cases rising rapidly.
Take a hint about whether or not Juul, the biggest e-cigarette maker, is looking out for the public good, and for teenagers in particular: The largest tobacco company in the U.S. owns 35 percent of Juul. E-cigarettes allow the user to breathe in addictive nicotine vapor without the other harmful chemicals found in tobacco cigarettes such as carbon dioxide and tar.
E-cigarette makers claim these fireless, battery-operated devices are “healthier” than smoking tobacco, but that’s not the same as claiming they are “healthy” to use. Some users claim it improves their sense of taste and smell, while others say it helps them sleep.
Opponents of e-cigarettes point out that nicotine vapors are still addictive. They often say teenagers and young adults are lured to nicotine through e-cigarettes, increasing their odds of later switching to tobacco cigarettes with the attendant odds of dying of cancer. I’m in the camp with opponents. To me the sight of a teenager or a young adult smoking or pretending to smoke with an e-cigarette is socially repulsive, a non-glamorous, dim-witted delusion of being “with it.”
Research continues on the effects of using e-cigarettes. Over time maybe we will all get smarter about this fad, one way or the other.
Other E-Alternatives
The idea of e-cigarettes led me to think of five other e-alternatives that could be of interest and potential benefit to users. To my knowledge these are not under development, but they may provide the spark to entrepreneurs to tackle them as the “next big thing.”
E-Cola. This has the potential to allow users to experience caffeine without the sugar and calories associated with excessive weight and obesity among the masses. It would come in a standard-looking soft drink cup, weigh about the same as a liquid beverage, with a straw that allows users to inhale caffeine vapors that could be the needed jolt for study, driving, and talking in an animated way. Water could be consumed on the side to deal with thirst as the caffeine vapors make their way into the bloodstream.
E-Cheesecake. Lovers of cheesecake would really love this realistic-looking device, shaped like the luscious real thing. Users would stick their forks into the porous substance near the bite end, place the fork into their mouths, and savor the flavor of rich, sinful cheesecake. The flavors would be built into the e-cheesecake porous interior.
E-Sex. For those who want to have a spine-tingling sexual experience whenever a partner is not available or feasible, the e-sex device would be nothing like traditional sexual stimulators now in the marketplace. Modern e-sex devices, upon prompting, would send an electronic message to the part of the brain that controls sexual pleasure, stimulate that area with pulsing microwaves, with the user controlling the intensity with the touch of a finger.
E-Sleep. For use at normal bedtime or after e-sex, the e-sleep device would send the brain the sleep stimulus at the push of a button. The device could be set on six, seven, eight, or some similar selection of hours to deliver deep, restful sleep to the otherwise agitated or “light” sleeper.
E-Coffee. After a wonderful night of restorative e-sleep, the user would go to the normal coffee-making area and turn on the sounds and aromas of the e-coffee machine. The brain would immediately prepare for a hot cup of e-coffee, a battery-heated device that emits coffee vapors with caffeine for glorious inhaling while sipping on a cup of hot water for the warm liquid sensation.
Readers who develop any or all of these ideas commercially, or the entrepreneurs who learn of these ideas through this blog post, or movie executives who turn these ideas into blockbuster futuristic movies, are reminded that writers’ work is copyrighted. This means I expect a fair share of the profits growing from these new products. This post is public notice to this effect.
Ahhh! I just had an e-fortune rush! It’s been a really good day.
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earlbrussell 
Thank you for not suggesting E-Beer. The line has to be drawn somewhere. Although some of the light beers they make now are not very close to the real thing either.
I don’t know where to draw the line because today I’m craving a piece of real cheesecake, doubting greatly that an e-version would suffice. 🙂 While I discarded smoking several decades ago, I can’t imagine an e-cigarette being much good either.
Earl, I think you drew the line in the right place, between the extremely important and the absolutely critical items. Of course as a younger man I might have drawn the line somewhere else. 😉
Bill, you were very clever to avoid saying where you might have drawn the line if you were a “younger man.”
I want the E-Cheesecake RIGHT NOW! I’d add the E-Coffee, but it is not making sense to me. You get the caffeine, so why not just drink normal coffee with my E-Cheesecake?
Does this mean you think the first four E-Alternatives make sense? If so, I’ll take an 80 percent on that and move on to other possibilities. 🙂
E-sleep and E-sex make perfect sense since there are ways of activating certain centers in the brain. It can probably be developed right now with current technology. The E-cola makes little sense to me, but that maybe because I am not crazy about colas. The coffee, as I said makes no sense at all. The cheesecake, YES!!!!
Okay, I’ll take 2 of 5 so far. Forty percent is considerably better than major league sluggers can hit in a baseball season. About an hour ago I walked in front of a local Cheesecake Factory restaurant and, thinking of my doubts about E-Cheesecake, had a hard time walking straight past their door. But I resisted.
You got me laughing again! The electronic cigarettes look ridiculous. Just my opinion, I’ve only seen a few people with them. The other though, not yet invented…..some very good ideas. I especially like the scent of coffee while sipping hot water with a vapor from a straw some place! Hilarious Earl.
I appreciate your feedback! Looks like the market may be ready for these inventions. 🙂
I like all of that e-stuff. Count me in.
Okay, you’re in!